Transitions

I'm going to put this out there. My transition from the army to Los Angeles is probably the hardest transition I've ever had to make. But it was one I needed to make to pursue the career I wanted, sooner than later.

Yes.

Even more difficult then my transition into the army. Sure, basic training was miserable. But I actually found myself in a better place figuring out my life. I didn't have to worry about finding work and because I had a constant paycheck all I really had to worry about was finding new friends who could guide me on the right path. That was the transition, though. Being in the army was different.

But the transition after. That is what no one is really prepared for. Yes, the military is very oriented on helping people find work when you get out. Sure, they want to help you succeed. But what they don't really talk to you about is the psychological effects that might occur when separating.

It also doesn't help that I dislocated my shoulder a month before I was getting out.

I planned my transition with extra time to get settled and still have a flowing income for at least a month. But a shadow crept up on me I didn't see coming. I didn't even notice it's presence until nearly a month later. It was like a little voice on my shoulder I couldn't hear whispering in my ear the whole time.

Separation anxiety.

I don't think anything can prepare you for that. Not properly. Much like a death of a loved one or divorce. But on a milder scale. Yet it still creeps in. And it sucked away the productivity I had planned on the first month I was in Los Angeles. The worst part was, I didn't really have any close friends in LA to turn to when I got here. Sure, I still knew people but not the way I had close friends from where I had just been. In a sense I was starting over again and nobody I knew here really knew what I was going through.

That's because I was a creative type who had just come from the most unlikely field. The military.

Really, there aren't a lot of people who understand the military. Especially in LA. They say 1% of the population in the country has served. With that, I'm surprised how many people I meet have. Except here. Not in LA.

I fit but yet I don't. I'm a creative but I've lived in another world.

I'm just now beginning to figure my life out again. In the past four years I've suffered from separation anxiety, depression, and mental breakdowns. All of that has been military induced. I've learned a lot and much has changed about me but it has also taken it's toll.

I'm glad to be back in LA. I know my creative spark will continue to be pushed while I'm here. I'll also be around more people who share my interests.

But really, this post is for all those who serve and have served. I appreciate what you are doing. Because I have been there. I have been in your shoes. And I know how difficult it can be if and when you get out. And if you're still serving, please do so with living up to the expectation of how a soldier is meant to live.

You have my appreciation.